rant all u want

S.N.H by short
Siti Nur Hazilawani in full
Juz turned Double 2 :)
Dancing & Grooving have always been her thing
Hopes that everything will be alright for the years to come

babyu knowhow i feelabout u ;)

+feelin sicker evrydae now..n i fel like vomittin maeb bcoz i dun eat..
+yest was weepin in silent til 5am n fel aslp coz therez sumone slpin beside me takan nk meraung kan
+n then woke up at 6am..and bloody slepi in skul..eyes so red n lil puff and even walkin aimlessly hittin a pillar
+too tired n slepi even in d bus i cant slp coz d journey to d museum was quite near at clarke quay area there..and reminds me of sumtin haixx
+d trip to d museum was quite cool n gt dead body wif coffin ppl cryin backgrnd abit scary bt took alot of pix there for project n random shots
+tink d security guard like wana chase us out coz so noisy..hah
+n we chill awhile at d cafe called sumtin momentum n itz nice
+thx zalina for treatin us d drinks!!but we fel bad tho coz u r payin for d us
+tot of skippin claz after tat then stil go bt do nutin coz i gt no mood to do plus slepi to d max..
+tink im goin into depression mode soon..frm stress to depress

symptoms of depresssion:

-an illness that causes a person to feel sad and hopeless much of the time. It is different from normal feelings of sadness, grief, or low energy.(true)
-Major events that create stress, such as childbirth or a death in the family.(dun haf)
-Illnesses, such as arthritis, heart disease, or cancer. (dun haf)
-Certain medicines, such as steroids or narcotics for pain relief. (dun haf)
-Drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs.(realli dun haf)
-Think and speak more slowly than normal.(partly haf im tinkin slower)
-Have trouble concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. (yes i haf)
-Have changes in their eating and sleeping habits. (yes i haf)
-Lose interest in things they enjoyed before they were depressed. (partly yes in sum tings)
-Have feelings of guilt and hopelessness, wondering if life is worth living.(reali2 haf)
-Think a lot about death or suicide. (yes realli2 alot evrytime)
-Complain about problems that don't have a physical cause, such as headache and stomachache. (nah dun haf..ma sickness do exists)

+and i read ur blog aredi n shld b he gif u ma add

to u,gerl..

+itz easy for both of u to say "move on n start anew" bcoz u both r happily togeda now while me was left hanging kp askin d same qst evrytime
+both of u duno how i realli2 fel coz if u wana noe i lurve him mcm stenga mati
+love cant be force yes itz true..bt how wld u noe if itz gone?kadang2 mulut ckp lain bt hati ckp lain..how wld u noe if he/she doesnt love animore?
+there r things tat i shld nt sae coz if i were to sae u will nt b hapi..so im here to not saketkan hati u coz if im selfish enuf terez alot of things i wld haf done to u bt i didnt
+u noe how painful it is to sacrifice ma feelings ma heart for both of u..coz to me biarla krg bahagia aslkan im nt..im always givin in n even if i die i wld ju c u frm above happi..even to anione else aso can b ma frenz i dun mine makin u ppl happy..let me b hurt n all as long c u ppl happi
+n i treasure him veri much co evry corner of ma house n room reminds me of him
+im not tat childish fihtin over a guy..im fightin for d love tat i build wif him n dun wana waste it.tryin to save make amendments n itz true if u realli love tat sumone y shld u let it go n instead hold on to them
+n i always consider tat we r stil in a relationship coz wen both of us sae break la bt then we stil met each other,say those 3 words,miz u,be all lovely n cuddley n tat we r both in gd terms..bt wen itz realli official i cant do all those things back
+am i taking away ur happiness??if i am i cld get very mean n all bt then u stil wif him rite while im not
+i noe u tot i was understandin enuf bt im not in ur tag..well im understandin enuf to make ma sacrifices despite noein it wil realli hurt in evry way coz evry lil things n places reminds me of him evry single time
+bt sum qst wil stil linger in ma mind..sum tings tat shldnt b said..sum things tat i cant forget,sum heart r broken
+tiz wil nt made me stronger coz im wenever i break up wif anione it hurts me..bt wif him it hurts alot like d whole world is fallin apart..
+wen u love sumone wif all ur heart n soul givin 100% to it n wen itz gone it kills u deep inside
+i believe tat cinte sejati wil always come back
+there alot of things goin on ma mind
+and i noe u want him despite sayin u rele if he comes back to me bt inside u dun want him to go rite?u shld noe d reason y
+take him if u want..tk kuase nk gaduh2 smue coz in d end i gt nutin bt more hurt..wat i noe im doin tiz for u both sacrifice matters of ma heart n u cld take him away..im being a woman writin tiz despite i noe wat consequences later wil happen to me
+yes it will takes time..d laz time i reali get over ma ex was abt 1yr..bt wif him..im nt sure how many yrs it wil take for me
+evrytin is too eli to sae or predict coz anitin can happen at anitime
+b happi then n take care
+dun misjudge me or anitin coz no one noes me realli well enuf
+im not here to nk bahasekan or anitin bt juz speakin out frm ma mind n no intention to kutuk2 all
+tink tatz it for now tat i wana sae

+oh god n i cried again in ma prayers n now while im writin tiz..tryin to control it..sumtimes if i laugh doesnt mean im happi..sumtimes im laughin hard to prevent maself frm cryin coz i dun wana let u guys c me tearin up
+tho sumone spot me of daydreamin alot n gif tat blankless,emotionless face la
+thx pea for ur present cookies..!itz nice n we all lurve ur gifts..hope u guys love ma gifts frm kl too..hah..itz nutin much la
+thx to elaine for ur lapie camera..later i stil again..lol
+i've no md to go to skul..6 more wks to survive
+eventho if i nvr plz u alot im sorie..bt tat missing diff tat i nvr plz u i wld replace if more fulli wen im havin breaks n holz..supposedly durin ma 2wks bt now tinkin bt it ma 2wks holz sux n no diff at all coz i've been rottin at home like endlessly waitin for sumtin tat nvr i cld fulfill
+now i haf lotz of prob tinkin n all..tinkin bt skul,famili,money,ppl prob and others which sum of it i dun intend to tell
+im so jealous seein other ppls life..gd life
+n ma keyboard letter "z" is sorts so sumtimes itz missing wen i write..paham2 je la
+if oni i cld move far2 awwway frm here or being hit n lose ma memories tat b gd
+i shld b slpin now n rez coz im nt feelin well n in order to survive ma 2 eyes in larry claz 2moro..boring back to top?