rant all u want

S.N.H by short
Siti Nur Hazilawani in full
Juz turned Double 2 :)
Dancing & Grooving have always been her thing
Hopes that everything will be alright for the years to come

babyu knowhow i feelabout u ;)

"eh frm where tiz hands appear n wat u wana grab huh!"

fennie wif shades

fathin wif shades

pea wif shades...hmmm sumone pix is mia..hah

swollen eye..fen:"looks like ET haha"

me n fenie

supergerl!!longing for ma superman???

fifen..lol


+mondae blues decidin whether to go skul or not coz ma eyes r swellin up badly wen i woke up..bt in d end i went to skul hah
+and i wore shades to skul all d wae to claz..not tat i wana look step mane nye ade sun gitu but ju to cover ma eye for protection..buruk u noe
+so i dun gif a damn if ppl wana tok behind ma back y tiz gerl wearin shades..later ur turn kena then u noe..
+n im runnin out of ideas..oh no..ti wk is d 7th wk..roughly abt 4wks to go b4 skul ends n ma long holz..bt then skulwerk haf been piling up like mountains n im stil stuck..haixxx
+laryy:"cute rite ma scooter??" me:"yah yar..ke ai"(dlm ati suke ati kau la aslkan kau bahagia)haha
+sean was in no md todae..n started scoldin n all..and it scare d whole lot of us..sheesh..no tension plz
+and i gt few nicknames for ma swollen eye given by u ppl todae:
1)E.T eyes
2)Fishball
3)Goldfish
4)Panda
5)to me it look retard..haha
+and i didnt go n c doc...if d conditn worsen then i go c doc 2moro coz tink d swell spreadin rite now..haixx..ish im scared if it worsen i nd go for operatn..scarey!!
+gona b few pix posted wif me n shades n others too
+finalli i wore ma superman shirt..lol..lurvin it
+mum told me bt her surprise for me wen i did told her i dun wana noe now bt oh well she still goes on..
+and aso did haf a long talk wif her yest..haixx..she kp tellin me follow ur heart..n she was hopin tat we * fill in d blanks*..n she told me tat he treat u as her son aredi..
mum:"i dun want u to regret one day like wat happen to me tatz y im tellin u y in d werld u wana sacrifice??i noe dp down d lurve is still there rite??"
me:"hmmm..i haix.."(then i started cryin again n forget bt ma swollen eye
+i duno wat to do givin a long sighhhhh
+n im so happi to c tat superman shirt...and i started cryin again lookin at d pix all..haixx..tho ma heart says "dun see dun see" bt ma eyes will always look at it
+im so alone..nobody at hm..no ring or vibratn on ma hp..haixx


+hey..i add u aredi.nt tat i ask or wat bt he told me so tatz y i sae sori
+no one cld understand bt u n him still movin on
+y r u feelin stuck
+nvm if he was angry or wat..
+i cant seem to forget at all
+like i sae tuhan saje maha memahami wat im goin thru n all n HE is d oni one tat can hear ma prayers,ma heart was feelin..
+anitin juz reply bk

LOVE CONFUSION-kat deluna

Don't know how we got this far
So attached now and this gets me
Like a thief you stole my heart
And I fallen in love so unfairly
(Boy I hate that my)
World revolves around you
(And I hate my heart)
Cause it hurts without you

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy
Confused
I'm Confused
I'm Confused

You gave me goosebumps, every time
My heart skips a beat when you touch me
I'm so mesmerized
Who told you, you could be mine?
I'm mad at you for this nice surprise
(Boy I hate that my)
World revolves around you
(And I hate my heart)
Cause it hurts without you

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy
You see I love you,
Then I hate you,
And I hate to, cause I love you
And I need you, then I don't need you
I don't know just what to do

I think I hate you, yes I hate you
Wait, I love you, I love you
I'm really so confused,
I love you, yes I do

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy
(Confused)
(I'm confused)
(I'm confused)

(Confused)
(I'm confused)
(I'm confused)

(Confused)
(I'm confused)
(I'm confused) back to top?

FALL FOR YOU-secondhand serenade

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find


+hey there..btw i dun haf ur email to add at msn
+he told me tat im hurtin u tatz y i apologise
+i duno which to hear now or believe
+therez alot of things i stil nvr gt d chance to sae
+tu je..i cant tink at d moment


+im soooo confused rite now seriously
+didnt went out todae so tot of editin sum pix
+u said u want me then tknk then want me again..im so confused ok
+d thing is u nd to apologise to them
+stop testin me..and u aso mrh2..n jgn ckp sembarang coz i didnt sae anitin
+if u wana laugh n always tink negative bt me go ahead...I WILL CHANGE
+n i will nvr burn ur stuffs cz itz meant to b mine n i treasure n appreciate it thru d yrs
+if u wana burn ma stuffs n evrytin i gif u i duno wat else to sae
+haixxx...2moro back to skul..n i gt styes..like painful ah..been puttin ice over it even warm water bt still haven ok yet
+n i ju realise where d heck i gt blue black on ma calves..
+haixxxx.. :(
"ya allah ya tuhanku,apakah yg mahu mu tunjukkan padaku?apakah ini smue bermakna??" back to top?

colorful!!!

colorfullll!haha

im fen cushion n bed..princess ah??haha..rite b oink!!

like charcoal effect

butterfly wallpaper at d museum..cheese

peranakan ppl in olden days dun smile at all..our famili potrait!

beware of robbery!!

credits to elaine..lurvin it gerl


+went out to ma aunt houz coz ma mum wana c ma pussycat
+gosh d hamster is now super fat la..compare to d 1st time wen we bought it so small..mkn banyak kot lol i miz ma arwah fluffy :(
+ok letz make it rite here

To u gerl:

+i duno wat u said to him
+but aniways he told me
+i told u b4 no hard feeling or so ever
+juz speakin ma mind
+if u hurt or tersinggung im veri sorie then
+im nt here to kutuk n bahasekan or anitin
+im controllin ma emotions at d same time too
+IM SO SORIE IF WAT I SAY HURTS U OR ANITIN..
+forgif me then if i do so
+i duno watz goin on rite now n watever it is juz tell me


+wat happening rite now seh??im confused n totali lost
+tink ma dad saw me daydreamin alot juz now wen we went to eat at downtown eaz
+sorie bt i cant help it n cant seem to stop
+n i tink i saw ur bro there..hmmm..skali salah org paiseh je haha
+wana go enrol license soon...anione wana follow aso??

let post sum pix again back to top?

nutin to do

spot me..hah

lovin it

run!!!whu gona b 1st??

in da bus

pocky anione??

come child follow me lol

0702!

+fathin u can steal frm here aso eh..lol back to top?

+larry claz waste of time..wat d heck i bring a2 art card n cuttin materials all wen i nvr use it at all in claz???buat berat beg je dumb2
+i cld b handsfree bt no carryin a paperbeg wif all of his stuffs to bring
+kurangasam nye larry..wat u wana payback izit juz bcoz i was laughin tat u slip out "frm d staircase to staircase u measure" instead of "frm d doorway to staircase"..it was funi to me coz of ur reactn..sheesh..larry:" siti y r u laughin at me..later i talk bt ur rebonded hair then u noe"
+no link at all seh..da paiseh buat paiseh la..small joke oni..then play wif ma measurin tape n let it fall on ma head..eeee
+n caught him red handed wif his oversized apek shirt n bermuda ridin scooter..n we all laugh hard upon seein him like tat at d pedestrian crossin so nt him
+then went to vivo wif fathin n fy coz fathin wana window shoppin n at d same time me n fy tryin to find dress for her..lol
+bcoz she put back d grey n white dress at forever21....we sabo her to try 3 pieces at another shop..colors r chose by me..lol..PINK DRESS,BLUISH GREEN DRESS WIF HOODIES n black dress..
+to bad tat we didnt took her pix wif all d dresses..pink dress( aww u look so sweet!!c pink suits u!!)..bluish green dress (omg!u so sexy without ur jeans on n d color looks gd on u!!)...black dress(so u d color n nice c whu told u wearin a dress is a nitemare!!lol)
+n me n fy bought sumtin too..:)
+then we bought lollies at tiz sumtin candy shop..haven eat it yet!
+and lastly went to vivo rooftop..itz been a while ive been here..tink d laz time was wif him..haixxx...evry part of spore reminds me of him..n habour front too reminds me of him d time wen i took d train all d wae to pick him up frm werk at nite
+so head hm arnd 5plus..mrt as usual super full..spot sumtin funni..
+and suddenly ma whole body start to shiver..ma legs all..ma body temp..itz d same thin i experience yest wen i was slpin n suddenly i was shiverin like mad padahal d weather is hot..
+duno watz happenin to me aredi..n ma face looks veri pale..i fel like vomittin again while walkin hm n yes dizzy like shit


+yes ur nt in ma shoes..sumtimes i dun fel satisfied knowin it
+i duno la..bt im stil wif him b4 i go for holz coz of all wat he did
+n even wen im there holidayin i kp tinkin n tot wen i come back im gona gif him a surprise bt then he gaf me a nice surprise d dae i gt back..n u aredi wif him on 100608??which i was away..i dun tink ma relatnship is over till d dae wen i came back..it was a heartpain tat i cried for several days till i fallen sick to d fullest
+yes how cld i nt forget u d day u serve me n wrong order coz i i gt say take away bt tink u forgot n sae "lar asl tadi tk blg siang2" n mcm borin sikit gitu and u seem like a nice peerson..as long as u dun disturb him,msg2 except pasal keje die then im fine wif it
+n was feelin safe to noe u haf a bf coz im nt worried for him to do mcm2
+bt sumhow ma guts feelin was tellin me sumtin nt rite
+i dun understand y in d werld u shld b envyin me???u gt him in d end..
+i nvr realise d mistakes it d day wen itz oficial over but i was takin time tryin to calm myself n tink all d things few mths back..even i made promise to start anew all n dun wana any fault..n no one believe it..how to noe if blum start pun if da start baru leh c
+no one cld understand..yes we both r gerls but we r both in diff position rite now if u noe wat i mean
+wat for i wana b ur enemy..wat for i wana b his enemy..wat do i get if i made u ma enemies??gold?no..him??no..so wat for..
+wat things tat u wana solved??
+itz nt gona b easy for me even itz settled
+i will nvr b happy or anitin bt u guys wld
+n i dun wana remember wat happen durin ma 2wks skul holz coz i wil tear up inside n out n fel sick after tat
+even now im nt feelin well despite im less cryin
+i duno wat he says to u or wat he feelin..
+bt watever it is wat u wana settle??wat u both want??n u shldnt b envyin me coz he is urz..i dint sae anitin bt nk ke tk
+im feelin more than juz upset
+anitin juz update n i view it later

+there r other stuffs tat im worryin too at d moment haixx
+if oni i was hospitalize or in comma
+still halfwae stealin pix..bodoh btul wen ma connectn lost yest sheesh
+finalli itz wkends.. back to top?

+feelin sicker evrydae now..n i fel like vomittin maeb bcoz i dun eat..
+yest was weepin in silent til 5am n fel aslp coz therez sumone slpin beside me takan nk meraung kan
+n then woke up at 6am..and bloody slepi in skul..eyes so red n lil puff and even walkin aimlessly hittin a pillar
+too tired n slepi even in d bus i cant slp coz d journey to d museum was quite near at clarke quay area there..and reminds me of sumtin haixx
+d trip to d museum was quite cool n gt dead body wif coffin ppl cryin backgrnd abit scary bt took alot of pix there for project n random shots
+tink d security guard like wana chase us out coz so noisy..hah
+n we chill awhile at d cafe called sumtin momentum n itz nice
+thx zalina for treatin us d drinks!!but we fel bad tho coz u r payin for d us
+tot of skippin claz after tat then stil go bt do nutin coz i gt no mood to do plus slepi to d max..
+tink im goin into depression mode soon..frm stress to depress

symptoms of depresssion:

-an illness that causes a person to feel sad and hopeless much of the time. It is different from normal feelings of sadness, grief, or low energy.(true)
-Major events that create stress, such as childbirth or a death in the family.(dun haf)
-Illnesses, such as arthritis, heart disease, or cancer. (dun haf)
-Certain medicines, such as steroids or narcotics for pain relief. (dun haf)
-Drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs.(realli dun haf)
-Think and speak more slowly than normal.(partly haf im tinkin slower)
-Have trouble concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. (yes i haf)
-Have changes in their eating and sleeping habits. (yes i haf)
-Lose interest in things they enjoyed before they were depressed. (partly yes in sum tings)
-Have feelings of guilt and hopelessness, wondering if life is worth living.(reali2 haf)
-Think a lot about death or suicide. (yes realli2 alot evrytime)
-Complain about problems that don't have a physical cause, such as headache and stomachache. (nah dun haf..ma sickness do exists)

+and i read ur blog aredi n shld b he gif u ma add

to u,gerl..

+itz easy for both of u to say "move on n start anew" bcoz u both r happily togeda now while me was left hanging kp askin d same qst evrytime
+both of u duno how i realli2 fel coz if u wana noe i lurve him mcm stenga mati
+love cant be force yes itz true..bt how wld u noe if itz gone?kadang2 mulut ckp lain bt hati ckp lain..how wld u noe if he/she doesnt love animore?
+there r things tat i shld nt sae coz if i were to sae u will nt b hapi..so im here to not saketkan hati u coz if im selfish enuf terez alot of things i wld haf done to u bt i didnt
+u noe how painful it is to sacrifice ma feelings ma heart for both of u..coz to me biarla krg bahagia aslkan im nt..im always givin in n even if i die i wld ju c u frm above happi..even to anione else aso can b ma frenz i dun mine makin u ppl happy..let me b hurt n all as long c u ppl happi
+n i treasure him veri much co evry corner of ma house n room reminds me of him
+im not tat childish fihtin over a guy..im fightin for d love tat i build wif him n dun wana waste it.tryin to save make amendments n itz true if u realli love tat sumone y shld u let it go n instead hold on to them
+n i always consider tat we r stil in a relationship coz wen both of us sae break la bt then we stil met each other,say those 3 words,miz u,be all lovely n cuddley n tat we r both in gd terms..bt wen itz realli official i cant do all those things back
+am i taking away ur happiness??if i am i cld get very mean n all bt then u stil wif him rite while im not
+i noe u tot i was understandin enuf bt im not in ur tag..well im understandin enuf to make ma sacrifices despite noein it wil realli hurt in evry way coz evry lil things n places reminds me of him evry single time
+bt sum qst wil stil linger in ma mind..sum tings tat shldnt b said..sum things tat i cant forget,sum heart r broken
+tiz wil nt made me stronger coz im wenever i break up wif anione it hurts me..bt wif him it hurts alot like d whole world is fallin apart..
+wen u love sumone wif all ur heart n soul givin 100% to it n wen itz gone it kills u deep inside
+i believe tat cinte sejati wil always come back
+there alot of things goin on ma mind
+and i noe u want him despite sayin u rele if he comes back to me bt inside u dun want him to go rite?u shld noe d reason y
+take him if u want..tk kuase nk gaduh2 smue coz in d end i gt nutin bt more hurt..wat i noe im doin tiz for u both sacrifice matters of ma heart n u cld take him away..im being a woman writin tiz despite i noe wat consequences later wil happen to me
+yes it will takes time..d laz time i reali get over ma ex was abt 1yr..bt wif him..im nt sure how many yrs it wil take for me
+evrytin is too eli to sae or predict coz anitin can happen at anitime
+b happi then n take care
+dun misjudge me or anitin coz no one noes me realli well enuf
+im not here to nk bahasekan or anitin bt juz speakin out frm ma mind n no intention to kutuk2 all
+tink tatz it for now tat i wana sae

+oh god n i cried again in ma prayers n now while im writin tiz..tryin to control it..sumtimes if i laugh doesnt mean im happi..sumtimes im laughin hard to prevent maself frm cryin coz i dun wana let u guys c me tearin up
+tho sumone spot me of daydreamin alot n gif tat blankless,emotionless face la
+thx pea for ur present cookies..!itz nice n we all lurve ur gifts..hope u guys love ma gifts frm kl too..hah..itz nutin much la
+thx to elaine for ur lapie camera..later i stil again..lol
+i've no md to go to skul..6 more wks to survive
+eventho if i nvr plz u alot im sorie..bt tat missing diff tat i nvr plz u i wld replace if more fulli wen im havin breaks n holz..supposedly durin ma 2wks bt now tinkin bt it ma 2wks holz sux n no diff at all coz i've been rottin at home like endlessly waitin for sumtin tat nvr i cld fulfill
+now i haf lotz of prob tinkin n all..tinkin bt skul,famili,money,ppl prob and others which sum of it i dun intend to tell
+im so jealous seein other ppls life..gd life
+n ma keyboard letter "z" is sorts so sumtimes itz missing wen i write..paham2 je la
+if oni i cld move far2 awwway frm here or being hit n lose ma memories tat b gd
+i shld b slpin now n rez coz im nt feelin well n in order to survive ma 2 eyes in larry claz 2moro..boring back to top?

+skul been hectic wif more projects comin up..haixx..and we did complain to rostina bt our probz so waitin if s n l will approve of it..i dun wan l...
+im so stress tinkin of studio haixx..n evry wk wen comes to studio makes me wana skip it
+n im stil staring into blank space n daydreamin..fify:"oi!oi!hayal kaper..da da jgn fikir2"
+dun mention bt d heart..itz more worse..
+n i heard sum tragic stories of others..kinda feel sorie for them..
+2moro goin to visit to peranakan shop house for zalina lesson..lookin forward coz tatz d oni time gt to get out of nyp hah
+went to bras basah juz now buy skul stuffz wif fi,fen,fathin n saiful..happenin seh n i fel like vomittin wen i controllin ma laughter..
+and im excited watz gona happen to fathin..lol..
+while walkin stil feelin uneasy sad n etc.....then rite
+OMG!!!!I SAW DIDI CAZLI INFRONT OF ME!!!*faint towards fathin*
+"fathin didi cali omg!haahhhhh!*faint sumore*"
+fathin:relax2 ct..
+me:saiful asl tk amik gambar die..haha
+saiful:tk prasan n by d time nampak da jln
+if oni i knew he was comin...i wld haf take his pix..he is cute la n tall so smart sumore juz now..wif long sleeves..haaahhh...*fainting*
+carzy ct..haha..and all ma sadnez n uneasy feelings all gone for awhile oni..lol..
+duno wen i wil post past pix n new pix..wen im nt doin ani werk hor..
+wana post sumtin tat i hapen to read n came across by...


"Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE.> DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT
> > Someone who will honor your morals.
> > Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
> > Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
> > Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
> > Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..........AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!" back to top?

Kau pergi jua lyrics

Wajahmu
Seindah serinya pelangi yang indah
Seharum mawar putih segar berkembang
Wajahmu
Mengapa sering terbayang dimataku
Sehingga terbawa didalam mimpiku

Sayangku
Tahukah kau didalam hatiku ini
Tersimpan perasaan cinta nan suci
Kau bunga
Ingin kusuntingmu menjadi milikku
Lantas kuabadikan dalam jiwaku

Sayangnya
Harapan yang selama ini kubawa
Hancur berkecai musnah jua akhirnya
Semuanya bagaikan sebuah mimpi

Kau pergi jua
Setelah cinta ku kini membara
Belum sempat kucurahkan kasihku
Kau pergi tak kembali...

+tat wat im feelin...
+n sooner i wil gt d whole picture..im feelin uneasy rite now
+yes back to d sad n hurt mood after wat i discover...
+n i cried frm day to nite in ma prayers..d laz time i remembered i cried in prayers was wen i pray tat i wld get gd marks for o levels coz i dun want to disappoint ma parents hope..n it did come true..now cryin in ma prayers again n let it all out n itz oni between HIM n me noes wat i pray for till i was in tears..
+i cant even concentrate on ma skulwerk wif all this thinking and ma heart pain..seriously..i wil juz stare into blank space..all those werds,images etc kp rewinding in ma mind..
+even in ma drms bad..i become a bad gerl in there involve maself in a gang..
+n i do fel like beatin ppl now aso..arghh..killin is beta which wil lead to satisfaction
+sumtimes i will juz listen to music in ma fon volume up n blast it in ma ears makin me go high to cloud 9..
+told u ma mind is nt rite..wat makes me tink tat i cld concentrate on ma werk..i mite b smilin bt nt inside..ma mind is splitting into 2
+i dun fel like goin skul..shld i skip?cabut??hmmm..
+n ma heart is uneasy n worried...wonder watz nxt god wana tell me..
+thanx shaz for slpin over at ma houz yar.. back to top?

+sum qst kp askin me in ma mid bt i cldnt get d ans yet
+d healin process is painful to noe he leave me..
+sum ppl tryi to cheer me up tiz days i appreciate it alot
+and to all MAT REPZ di luar sane..stop it la ok!!nabeh btul..!if u duno me plz stop tryin to gif a signal tat u noe me n ask to kol u la dumbass..itz nt funi ok..fikir cool kape..chi btul..and aso stop playin wheels of fortune wif ppl names ok..if tk tau sudah la jgn main asl bleh shoot je name org then if btul jgn nk step kenal and suruh kol n membontot dari blakang..if u gt d balls then juz ask la bodoh btul if not juz change it to puss..even if u ask i wldnt gif ma no..i mite gif d wrong no..tu ar nk mainkan org sangat kan
+im like daydreamin alot seh now..hallucinatin maeb coz i always tot ma hp is ringing or vibratin padahal wen i look theres nutin..sedih seh
+even tat few minutes of kol juz made me smile yest2..waitin for d nxt kol
+n i like to santai2 alot outside lately by takin a stroll at downtown..walkin here n there wif no particular directn..n juz now goin to ma bestie houz watch stuart little 3..haha
+ma pussycat aka grandfather wil b goin hm 2moro after 5 days slpin at ma housey..
+n im super bored..tiz holidae sux..and skul reopen soon..i dun fel like goin skul n i haven done anitin yet khakha..lazy la wif all thots in ma mind
+thx for d offer ehk retired superheroes..lol..ketawe sampai menangis seh..jgn semput lak..khakha
+tatz all for now..countin d days..50cent ice crm je??lol back to top?

i want u to remember me always..smiling yet fading away

:)

me n bestie

tiz make me laugh alot wen she pose like tiz..


+at last gt to met him...coz i wanna gif tat shirt..
+dplace where wemet is where we d 1st time we started out..so d surrounding bring back our memories togeda
+i cldnthold ma tears any longer..i tot by wearin contact lens wil help me nt to cry bt didnt werk..sorie tat u c me cryin
+itz hard for me..even wen til our hands wana part itz difficult coz i noe both of us dun wana let go..n i cried til interchange ok
+i tot d lady behind me wana offer tissue coz iwas sobbing..bt then she tap me n pointed on d floor tat ma money drop..padahal it not ma money..rezeki..lol..
+it feels painful..ma bestie cheerin me up..fikir biawak kape pat blakang krusi kite skli cicak..haha
+ppl sae love nd sacrifices...itz hard t let go even tho they sae move on n start afresh coz itz nt easy wen u r hurt deeply..they sae tat u wil get over it soon bt how soon wil u recovered?..even if u kp all those pix in sum place hidden n promise nt to c it bt u will haf d tendency to open it n look thru all d pix over n over again..a break upitz nt juz a break up..it means sumtin coz it breaks ur heart..
+n now i cant sae those 3 werds to u,hug u n etc..coz imnt urz animore..it juz makes me sad..bt i wil treasure our moments..n zim..
+promise me u wil take care of urself k..
+dunman area leave so much memories to me..sigh back to top?

ma bestie "ayu" lol..n will always be:) thx gerl for makin me :) me stil wif pale face..

+and thx for tat article frm shazila blog..help me too
+im still sick yup2..bt abit beta without d flu..
+itz partly ma fault yup..im a bad person..tk tink bt wat u like..ma apologise
+kadang2 cinte itu perlu pengorbanan..tatz y im givin up
+some secrets shall nt be told n oni between me n ma heart tat oni noes...come to tink bt it i haf alot of secrets tat shal nt b told..n let me juz kp it..
+all i want is u to be happy so is evryone
+itz gona take time for me..yes evry gerl is sentimental at heart
+ma hp seem useless now n nt impt animore except use it for listenin to ma music n takin pix..yup2..so if i reply late veri sori yar coz ma hp mite not be in ma pocket
+itz dangerous plz dun do it..i stil care..do take care of urself n b happi..dun do anitin nonsense coz ur family frenz n gerl love u..dun tink so much coz im only addin up to ur stress..drive carefully k
+gd news tat ma fren is survivin in ns..lol..fikir kene buli..lol..take care
+will update past pix n kl trip wen im free..
+and i cant tink of wat else to write coz im blank now wen juz now i've gt so much to write
+hmm..blank blank blank..cough cough..hmm..i want medicine for cough..haixx
+ back to top?

+ma previous entry was not oni bt me..oni d part im sick itz true co wen i cry too much i fall sick
+more of d entry for behalf of ma frens of their sad story n aso to sumone i tink we shld tell her off coz i noe we all get sick of it
+tho despite all..he is stil d person once i love b4..rememberin all his gd side n points n d moments tat we shared bring me to smile..
+so dun tink of negative tings of wat i write co d positive is wat impt..juz forget wat i write for d last entry orite coz i may write it out of anger jealousy n all..forgive me
+i shall delete it n it shall remain history..so yar i do treasure evrytin n aint doin any bad stuff to it..coz like i sae sumtimes wat u write or come out frm ur mouth is different frm wat ur heart tells u
+deep down ma heart he still there..so im always now tinkin positive bt him..throw away d negative n watever i sae forget it oritez pplz
+partly it was ma fault back to top?

+i duno wat else to sae
+i cried for d past 2 days frm morning to nite till wat im dreamin was also cryin..
+i cant hide frm ma mum coz by lookin at ma swollen eyes she knew i cried..and im thankful to ma mum for givin me a hug n pat me to make me fel beta wen i cry it all out..wif ma voice shiverin out wen i cried..n mum ju ask me to "sshhh i noe how u fel" tat makes me even wana cry more
+d reason y i dun wana cry infront of ma mum coz i dun want make her cry wen she c me..bt i cant hold any longer n cried in front of her feelin all d sadnez n hurt n more sad wen she cried too..she ju cldnt c me cry..
+n all tat cryin till now til i haf no more tears to shed juz painful eyes..till i fall ill..1st was fever then headaches n migraine..then heavy flu then now cough n chest pain..soon i tink i b vomittin co wenever i cough i fel like vomittin n it hurt ma head co of d nerves vibratin..



+tiz part shall remain history



+for now i oni can raise both of ma hands n pray to god..and hope u guys cld make me feel better in time coz i fel ma heart being crush..
+be happy now..concentrate being 19 hangin out wif dear ones n study coz wen im turnin 20 tatz d age wen im turnin into an adulthood..
+god plz help me thru all thiz pain..for a start i tink itz time i bring it down n pack it..bt even if i kp it all in a box..i cld stil fel his presence in ma room..


+bt ma sadness cld not beat ma fren whu had juz lose her dearest father..i wish u takziah atas ape yg telah terjadi..be strong coz allah lebih menyanyanginye..
+to cicakman jage diri baik2 tau wen u in ns..jgn nk diet2 lak..haha..of coz i fel sad la..sape tk sedih bile da masuk ns..da besar die..muz tell me wat happen inside there ok..mane tau kene bulli ke..curious gak nk tau
+for now juz pray for me to get well soon back to top?

+im back hm from kl:) yea kinda miz ma bed n ma turtlemoo..shld haf bring it along wif me..
+kl trip was ok n i did experience few stuff there..sum can roll eyes..lol..will tok bt it more nxt entry wif pix ok..
+change hairstyle again..kind of regret now..:(
+altho i juz came back bt some bad thigs happen which causes me to fel being killed
+tat particular dae 7 jun at 1.30pm was a mistake if i had known earlier tat it wil lead to tiz...:'(
+tiz is d 1st time i;ve been cryin heavily n hurt like i duno wat to say coz it really hurts d whole me like shit
+even after seeing sumtin wif ma 2 eyes i cry even harder..part of me controllin it causin ma nerve to come out..leading to shiverin,bad headaches n increase in ma body temp..tatz y i dun like to cry reali alot2 co d next ting will juz make me even more sick
+even now wen i c d shirt i fel regret buyin it coz it remeinds me of d another pair..haixx


To :
tat day was a mistake
a mistake tat makes me grief deeper into a hole
a hole tat i was hoping for sumtin
but turns out i fall into it killing myself
i shld haf known tat ma guts feelin was true for d past few mths
but only till todae d truth is reveal
y muz d 3 werds u sae "i love u" & "i miss u" be spoken frm ur heart
if it only means nutin bt feelin pity juz for me
those werds shld be true nt juz an act
if those werds r true bt y muz it b shared wif sumone else
all those hugs n kisses wat r they for??
am i nutin to u?
by doin tiz it juz makes me realli hurt than ever
juz sayin sori is nt easy co im d victim
u can blame me for all my faults
n now i dun mind it coz i dun haf d energy to argue
if im mean n all i wont be tinkin of u n buy things
im still d same me if u recall frm d beginning where we 1st started
im juz followin ur anger n tryin to forget it
coz arguments lead to nutin
if thiz was d plan thx
hope u cld enjoy ur new life being happy
me burnin inside wif hurt n disappointed
whu am i to stop u,no one
coz im always feel useless in ur eyes
thx for evrytin
ma room is part of our memories n all d love
now lookin at it juz breaks ma heart
even after if i took it down d remains wil stil b lingerin around
the feelin will still be there wif all those stuffz
how cld tiz b happenin in juz a short time
tel me again y i shldnt fall in love
and i tink there wasnt enuf truz in our relationship
tho d lurve stil there
bt his lurve doesnt anymore
gdluck havin her
let me juz b alone n cry in sorrow
maeb i shld juz stop n close d door
maeb itz time for me to go bad
maeb i shal turn into sumone else
maeb sumtin bad gona happen or do sumtin bad tat im cravin
i cant predict next wat gona happen to me
but watever it is im goin thru it d hard wae
bubye to all
im gona b mia for sum time back to top?

+mid criq for ps is over finali..after waitin for 15hrs on thurs to present n end up nutin as it was brought forward to d next dae..like a big f word to them lar.waste ma fare t skul..waste m beauty slp n evrytn super piss ar n bcoz of tat i haf to come skul to present..idiot!!
+i b goin off to KL tiz sun n b back on wed..:(
+sumhow or rather im feelin sad..lonely yes..and evrytin..istill tink alot tat causes me to haf sum accident..yup
+im a sensitif gerl n i cried alot yes i noe coz im weak.tatz me..haixxx
+y r all tiz happenin..n ma fon is dead now like cricket sound..tel me again y i upgrade ma line..n soon itz gona b no sound at all n no point checkn it evry minute coz it wil stil b empty
+i wana scream n cry so hard tiz time round wen i gt d chance..laz time i scream n curse all the f word c word n many werd for ma projects n it fels gd
+sob sob..itz a sad wrld..
+happy holidays!!

aku tidak mampu untuk melakukan apa-apa
setiap langkah yg ku jalani semakin lemah
hanya titisan air mata yg dptku mengalir di dlm hatiku ini
tiada sesiapa yg mengerti apa yg ku rasai
dan pabila ku rebah nanti
siapakah yg akan menjdi tulang blakangku nanti..superman kot khakakha-> juz to cheer me up wenever i read tiz :) back to top?

Our final modelfor VI called "SpinCity" a directory cum compass
+juz wana write sum bdae wishes coz i gt no tme to update till now to post a shout out to ma mum n shasha..lol
+d tot stil counts ok..
+we all went out haf lunch togeda durin ma mum bdae at pondok jawa timur i tink..then went shop2 around at PS
+and todae was VI presentatn..i slpt at 5plus am!!n was so sleepy like walkin zombie wif all d headaches
+i duno y suddenly i feel nervous like butterflies all over in ma stomach & peeing too bt was quite a sad thing coz ma grp ppt cant be uploaded due to d big file..itz like damn wasted ar coz therez alot of things we wana show to d whole of SIDs ppl
+in the end,we presented using our models n explain wat izzit all about..
+and im please wif our final model,pb and all..so niceeee!haha high five guys!!
+and i shall stop ranting now and haf ma beauty slp if i nd to stay awake 2moro in claz:)
+VI is down..woohoo!!left 4 more dyas till HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!:D



Hapi bdae to dearest mummy on 1st of June!!!smoga murah rezeki slalu,panjang umur,sihat slalu & dpt ape yg diinginkan

Happy bdae to shasha on 2nd of june!!stay cute n pretti always & look out for ur pakcik lol

super huge scorpion at PS

ma datuk posing wif his paper bag which he refuses to put it down coz gt pretty girl on d cover..haha..funi

gt d genes frm ma datuk wif d nerd specs..lol..sudu plak tertutup sebelah mate

pic of the day!!ma geek grandfather!!peace2!lol back to top?