rant all u want

S.N.H by short
Siti Nur Hazilawani in full
Juz turned Double 2 :)
Dancing & Grooving have always been her thing
Hopes that everything will be alright for the years to come

babyu knowhow i feelabout u ;)

halfdone chair design for competitn

i create ma 3d name in rhino!coolioz!

our slepi faces kene patah lik skola

nice sky colors with a star..spot d star!

so not me wif long hair la

me wif fify's cat!!suke kuching die

ma lil bro wif d rez of ma cuzzies

i want tiz!!whu wana buy for me??lol..ade orange seh ma fav color!!

ni fifynye keje selitkan mentos to ma suspender!thx eh

mencuci di masjid jamek queenstown :)

fify long hair look

fathin long hair look..huahuahua

Rez of d pix go to --> (http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a10/ctnur/masjidbotanicgardensrandompix/) thank u :)

+i lazy to upload pix coz therez alot la so go check out at ma album oritez..tknk sudah n if nk kutuk2 gi mampuz ah
+juz a brief of d paz few days im having...last sat basically went to do some gd deeds goin to masjid jamek queenstown at redhill to wash n clean up d masjid togeda wif ros n i didnt celebrate national dae bt instead slpover at fify houz ;)we shall do it again bebz!
+sun nutin interesting...mon to thurs basically 9am to 6pm skulin includin 2moro..like wth..da mcm werkin full time seh..n im super tired seriously juz bcoz we all haf to enter the furniture design competition..sheesh
+tu pun ma chair lil bit more to go n therez posibilities of comin back again nxt wk 9 to 6 again..damn la..if not i'll be enjoyin ma skul holidae of 2mths la thx eh
+i will remember wat d makcik said at d masjid "20yrs old is not old yet..u r consider old wen ur age is 23 coz tat is wen u experience more stuffs n ppl attitudes..so do watever u want now b4 u reach 23 ok"..bcoz we were sayin we r goin to b old nxt yr..lol..thx ye makcik
+n todae sean join ma clique for lunch n gif tiz long grandfather story..lol..about emotional intimacy n physical intimacy..haha..yes we appreciate sean for ur advice aso bt relationship n guys we noe u care bt us :)
+hmm tink bcoz he notices each of us change lately..yes i will be always dreamy,lookin sad n stoning,yg lg due tu da ke babak lain..lol n d another two hmm mia kot..lol
+n having claz now frm mornz to late afternoon is like we having picnic la..lol
+i want ma rez n slp pretti plz..!thx claz for helpin me out foldin ma 200 plus papers!lurve u oinkiez!:)
+hmm including todae i duno how many times i read it aredi tho i dun wana look at it bt u noe ma hands itchy n ma eyes always wana look..haixx
+seeing sumtin juz now was well suspected..lotz of sacrifice has been done n one of it which i will nt forget bcoz d scar is stil there on ma left shoulder tho itz been quite awhilen another scar in ma heart for life
+and tiz will be my last post for the moment..i will b mia for long time for now..i dun wish to update animore tho i lurve u ma bloggie bt i decided to lay off now..n i mite b changin ma hp no too n oni certain ppl wil noe..yes i noe its a drastic ting to do..hmmm..tatz d reason y im writing a long post
+tho few mths had paz bt im not like "woohoo!!ive move on!!"..tatz nt me..all tiz while ive been puttin on a mask so others wont fel wat im feelin n facin coz i want u guys to be happi..bt went therez no one around tatz wen i took off ma mask n let it all out..n now more probz kp addin up..more heartz to b broken..yes bcoz of u im like tiz...
+ eh dun act lah..jgn nk step pat sini..leh gi mampuz k seriously..prangai meluatkan..3 fingers up ur arse ok
+im glad we haf our dirty talks gerlz oink2..and our secret is between we all oni ok..sumhow those talks makes me laugh out loud
+werds for d week.."steam kering??".."aku tk tahan"..hahaha.."chiko??"..those funi moments using tiz werds..thx gerlz;)
+HAPI BDAE DEAR OINK2 PEA!!bdae kiz for u 2moro yar lol


Todae will be my laz moments of writin in tiz diary of mine
Therez nutin great to talk abt my life no more...
Days,mths,yrs n then gone nutin wil be heard animore
Only for a start it seems gd bt as d time pass by it seems rather useless
Everydae more secrets are to fill up in ma heart and some are confidential
Tatz wat i am..a secretive person which im train since im young
I cant be bothered at times
Cause oni GOD knows what im feelin and how much suffer i wen thru
Im not seekin any revenge or anitin
Cause i noe wat goes around comes around
And let HIM do all the work and it mite not be now
Can be later or even in the future
All i nd to do is juz pray,hope n express evrytin out towards d laz moments
Of course i will be hurt thru out ma life
What ppl sae is easy bt wat d person himself/herself goin thru it is much more harder than u noe
"what if u were in my shoes...?"
And i admit im not a strong person bt rather a weak person coz tatz wat i am
U cant simply judge a person by juz a dae
A changing person needs time to make themselves better
Acceptance n patience is d key no matter what
Not by juz chucking d problem to one side and making a new one
From there u will noe how much tat person treasure sumone n lurve them whole heartedly
Izzit so easy to do such things??
Thru out ma yrs ive been sacrificing alot for others n not for myself
Cause im a forgiving person n want others to be happy rather than making myself happy
Bt at times i qst maself 'does d other party noes it?'
Maybe tatz d reason y im becoming hurtful than ever
Digging into my own grave tearing up for sumting tat i could not stand up for my rights and letting it juz go away
There u will noe "mane satu yg permata dan mane satu yg kaca"
There will be others who will "api2 kan" and oni the gd ones will ask to stay
The ones whu backstab r d ones who is juz jealous n finding trouble
U rather break many hearts rather than juz 1 heart
Sumtimes wen we r angry doesnt mean we hate tat person bt out of lurve
Mungkin ni hari harimu...esok akan menjadi hariku
And im not at the losing end bcoz tiz is d beginning
Beginning of evrytin
And how u cld be proud of tat
Dun u ever feel guilty??
Itz gd to noe how sick u can be by doin tat
Itz easy to talk it out but doin it personally u fail
Tiz applies to B"4"
I dun care animore n y shld i care
Living in world full of fakes
I nvr make maself happi n tiz is d time when i should turn d tables around
Doing tings right shoot those rundown by lorry faces
Getting away like bunch of pigs happily
There will be a my day when i crush u pplz into bitz of biscuits till dust


My decision will affect some ppl
Cause i wana run away like the wind
Where at one point u will see me and a minute later im gone
Flying away following the flow of the wind wherever it brings me
And all those things ive done wif u tat no one has done it
I want u to remember and miss it
There will be alot of qsts that i wana noe which i cldnt ans it for myself
Mata tidak boleh menipu walaupun ape jua
Doesnt mean a person haf to sae lurve evrydae but the actions will prove it
Whatever u say is true and not a piece of lie
Itz hard for me now and the best way is for me to be gone from evryting
Doing evryting i can before i close my eyes forever from this world
Forgiveness depends how fast i heal from evryting
And i will remember sumone saying to me " y u shld let go the person u lurve to anione or juz like that??"
Evryting happens for a reason n if tat reason u cld change it it wouldnt haf happen
Unless u wish it to happen
Im not going to hope for anithing
Hoping for sumtin will oni makes me disappointed in the end
Looking forward too is not in my list
My heart has been damaged which is beyond repair
And i will start writing to u back again when my heart is open back again
Concentrate on what you doing now
All d things u said tat u wana do wif me
Only becomes in my drms wen i shut my eyes
And pray that i will still be alive when im back from touring around aimlessly
I lurve evry single bits of my memories
Never in my life i wana delete it away
There a lot of things ppl duno bt me
Alot of things i wana speak out n share
But gt no chance to do so..



LOVES AND HUGS
PEACE OUT

"Do u still remember wat ma mum advice for u n ma bro..?" back to top?

+i read it aredi n ma md changes now
+tot of updatin wat i did on sat bt then im not in d md to update it
+didnt celebrate national dae
+no wonder i fel strange all tiz while..i knew tiz gona happen..yes n it did..ma guts feelings wont lie
+i hate ma life seriously..gettin worst n worst..
+tink tatz it for now coz i dun haf d energy to type n breakin down again..
+im nt a strong person
+can i migrate to some remote places so that no one wil find me ever again?juz treat me tat im dead?
+sumtimes i juz hate ****..seriously
+im not gona haf any relationship frm now on...mlz after wat happen evrytin..while sum r so hapi..i had enuf..
+pintu hatiku sudah tertutup

"i treasure all the memories being wif u.." back to top?

+todae was final submissiion for ps pluz presentatn dae and aso 2moro
+so ma slot presenting will be 2moro afternoon..sadnez..of coz i wil haf butterflies in ma stomach and im scared wen comes to critique part
+scared i cant ans d qst..die!
+n i woke up late to skul coz i slp around 5plus in d mornz doin ma ppt n all n im glad im done wif ps!:)
+luckily ma bro was at home so he cld sent me to skul la ape lg
+im so dumb to wear tat non stretchable pants tat causes me difficult to naik tat scrambler..tsk tsk
+d laz time i ride scrambler wen i was in sec skul..and now riding it again makin me abit scared..lol..and luckily i didnt get into accident due to d bike kinda stall and ma bro lifted up d rite foot rez n then i couldnt find wherez d foot rez..
+ma legs r hangin n im like "shit mane foot res die seh da tkleh nampak n prayin for red lite so tat i cld c where izziit"
+n ma foot almost touchin the tyres la n luckily i nvr rez on it phew!bt ma shoe haf scratches on it n i manage to find d foot rez wen red lite..scarey man
+d tawaf pat around d skul was damn funni..ma bro "la asl tk blg siang2''..me "i tot i sae aredi haha"
+im darn slepi seriously even in claz i fel like slpin after how many days i didnt slp n slp in d wee hrs..
+after 2moro presentatn im so gona celebrate man!!weeee!!
+wish me luck for ma presentatn 2moro..woohoo wearin formal back again :)
national day comin!! back to top?

HAPPY BDAE TO U FATIN!!!

+da besar die..lol..so we celebrate her bdae in claz after our drawing tez which i didnt complete it and abit fruz bcoz ma plan is slant pluz ma hands r numb
+actually d plan was to sabo fatin huahuahua..as in we pretend to forget her bdae..but then in d end some ppl wish her aredi..lol itz ok
+dun be sad la fatin we noe ur bdae is on 5 Aug..lol
+a tweeti balloon for u now..haha..maeb tiz wk or nxt wk we celebrate togeda2 ok
+ hope u like ur bdae kiz esp frm me tau..lol..nxt victim kiz will be whu bdae ar in aug??
+evryone wil get a bdae kiz frm esp frm me..huahuahua..tiz oni applies to gerlz..if guys??hmm..wait long2 la!haha
+ros was in happi mood to treat us n celebrate fathin bdae aso..coz she ask me whuz bdae coz im holdin balloon..lol..so we decided to buy cake bt i tink ros was lazy to go out n buy then she order piza hut!!woohoo..and aso nuggets n wedges..yummeh!!
+and i accidently step on ros shoes!tu la sape suruh berdiri behind me..haha
+n we laugh veri hard wen cy sayin bye n she stand there smilin n lookin n i was like "ape kau nak lg!hahaha"..bt she dun understand obviously..lol..and ros said to me "u ah veri mean u noe skali she jump down baru tau"..haha..alah cher relax la..skali skale kacau org tk salah pe bukan slalu ;)
+ok i nd start doin ppt now..n i haven finish ma model yet..so 2moro mornz will be doin it n final touches to development n report n another pb to d new final model..thx ah..now tiz is makin me strezz haix
+oh did i tel u d new ferrero rocher chocz is super nice!!:) back to top?

muke tk dpt masuk tangan pun jadila..

weee..

in d museum

whoopz..bad panda eyes

hmm..da mcm adek bradek lol

presenting "C.L.F"..hehe

candid shotz

fathin.me.ipol background S.A.M:)


+back to skul again todae not to mention todae is submissn of project studio(ps)
+and guess wat??i haven complete evrytin yet...tho i torn d whole 24hrs to do ma project which include goin out to ws for awhile coz not enuf materials stil i cant finish it
+making d model takes like d whole dae man..and the most "beautiful" thing is tat wen i wana c ma model to draw out ma plan ade lipas pat dlm ma model!!!besar lak tu!!
+geram seh..cant u find any place to land instead of ma model?!!n i ask ma adek to pukul it coz im afraid of cockroaches..!eee
+i didnt do ma ppt at all coz i gt no time..wen to sunshine plaza to print ma boards in d mornz wif fify and ma model is humongous which set ppl to stare towards our direction in d mrt
+aslkan no one hit ma model itz fine wif me..if not im so gona b piss off
+another bad thing is that i cant print out ma report like shit seh..*screaming*
+which causes me to forget to take ma thumbdrive at the printing shop and i oni realise it wen im in d lift like "shit!shit!wheres ma thumbdrive sia??eh shit la..i wana cry"
+luckili the auntie kp it for me..phew!if not im gona start to break down there
+yes i nd to redo ma model again wen i tot todae is over bt nooo..can i scream n kick sumtin..haix..stil haf few more things to do bt ma eyes r too tired after nt slpin for 24hrs..even wen i do werk im closin ma eyes which cause me to cut ma finger..haix..and writin "dain" instead of "drain"
+i nd slp!!!!
+gona haf fever soon..ma stomach cramps and yest suddenly i fel pain in ma chest around ma heart area..and it hurts..which causes me to stop for awhile wat i was doin
+im nt sure wat causes it bt wen it comes it fels painful..mite be sumone is sick
+todae i wana slp eli n wake up in d mornz to continue ma studio..i nd rez
+thx zalina for sending me n fify home..buat susah je..coz our models are darn big so zalina offer to drop us:) appreciate ur help!!die la yg satu2 nye cikgu kite org suke :)
+herez some pix during nite festival n others (fify:"ct post gambar la") back to top?